Oh the frustration…

As documented in previous postings on this blog, the last year and a half have been, well, challenging.

However the last six months have been especially brutal in terms of earning an income. Freelance can be good, but it hasn’t yet been quite good enough to keep me fully floating and that’s not including the three months when there was literally no work coming in at all. Zip. Zero. Nada.

So the next logical step is to pursue a “regular” job with an established company, earning a stable salary. Sounds like the perfect scenario – so why hasn’t that happened? For my part, I’ve sent countless resumes and emails, made countless phone calls, talked to a plethora of “inside” people who thought they could get the wheels greased in my favor at whatever company they worked for. I’ve even interviewed at a few places via telephone and in person… so what’s the freaking deal?! My employment status (and by that I do mean a total lack thereof), is certainly not a result of a lack of effort. I’ve hustled, networked, emailed, called, spoken to, and met with a seemingly endless stream of HR personnel, Creative Directors, Vice Presidents, Presidents, even Owners.

For example: In early December I went so far as to pay my own way to travel up to Milwaukee to meet with a company after the President called to follow up on the resume and portfolio sampler I sent to him. After chatting for about thirty five minutes on the phone (may not seem like a long time, but to the President of a company like this, even fifteen minutes of his time would have been an achievement), he asked if I might be in the area anytime soon to possibly meet in person. The very clear indication was that the need to add to the design staff would be fast approaching, and with that in mind, I decided to roll the dice and set a meeting.

About $250 for gas, food, and other expenses later (money I had to borrow BTW), I walked into the office ready to meet with this guy and hopefully wow and impress him with all my industry experience and design talent… I got to meet with him for all of five minutes. Five. After that I got passed along to his assistant, then to the two staff designers, then on to a quick tour of the facility. That was it. I didn’t even get to go into my portfolio with the president (you know, they guy who wanted to meet with me in the first place). We had a nice five minute chat in which we seemed to be very much on the same page, but then that was it. Well, okay. He’s busy. I get it.

But then came the real burn.

The morning after returning to KC, I fired off a few individual “Thank You” emails to the people I met with – including the president. Not one single reply. From anybody. Forget that I took the time, effort, and expense to travel all the way up there to meet with those people. Clearly that didn’t warrant any kind of polite response – you know, something like “Dan it was nice meeting with as well, I hope you had a safe trip back to KC. Thank you again for coming in to meet with us”. Even forgetting the total lack of discussion about a potential position with the company, it blows my mind that even replying to an email seemd to be too much to ask.

Well, fine. I guess I’ll just scratch that off the list a dead end. So what’s next? The answer to that is that nothing else would be bubbling up until we were well into the next month and in the new year.

When that time did finally come along, I started getting calls and emails from this headhunter and that corporate recruiter wanting to know if I’d be interested in a design job at XYZ company in ABC city or town. Sure! Feels great to have some movement again! Looks like my lean days might finally be coming to an end as I can now see little sparks of light at the end of this tunnel. But I’m not calling this good enough – Oh no sir! I know all too well how easily those little sparks can flicker out into nothing, so the wise thing is for me to continue to pursue other opportiunities as well. The the idea hits me! I can use this increase in activity as possible leverage for the company here in KC that I had met with way back in August. They were impressed with my portfolio and my resume, but every time I checked in with them, they were still not quite ready to add to their staff. Fair enough, but with my stock now on the rise, perhaps I can ignite a little urgency into them.

Perhaps at this point, I should detail this particular company a little bit and explain why I felt that the leverage was there for me to use in the first place. For starters, this company is very grounded in the very industry that I have the bulk of my professional experience in. So right off the bat, I can hit the ground running. Beyond that, the company’s physical location is basically exactly what I’ve always looked for. An old brick warehouse in the very hip crossroads district of KC that has been completely renovated and now just oozes the very creative vibe that I’ve always wanted to work in. It’s trendy, it’s hip, it’s dynamic. Perfect environment for me.

The next selling point is the work itself – they get to work on a lot of very high-end, very design driven projects. Sure they have to tackle the occasional low-budget stinker every now and then, but to a large degree, they very much operate at a higher level than any other place I’ve ever worked. Ever.

But what’s in it for them, you ask? Well, as it happens, they loved my portfolio of previous work. Secondly, whatever anybody reading this knows me as, one thing I will give myself credit for is that I interview VERY well. I’m personable, intelligent, ask poignant questions, and I articulate much more gooder than the average joe. An easygoing sense of humor certainly doesn’t hurt my case either.

Okay, so in terms of selling points for me we have a strong portfolio, and a good personality, surely that can’t be all? Well as a matter of fact, it isn’t! They've seen that I can do the work that they do and they can tell that I’ll get along well with the other people there while doing that work, but one of the added bonuses with me is that from a technical standpoint, I already use the exact software that they do. A software, I might add, that is becoming increasingly rare among design professionals in this industry. To an outsider, this may not seem like that big of a deal, but trust me - it is.

Beyond those things, there’s a few more I can rattle off here, but in the interest of not boring the reader to death, lets just sum it up by stating that there are a LOT of synergies with this company and myself. A lot! In fact there are enough that it seems a little ridiculous to me that they didn’t try to hire me after I met with them the first time. But whatevs. We have to deal with the here and now, and now, I think I might have some leverage to finally get the ball rolling!

A very well written email was composed (by none other than yours truly) simply stating that the window of opportunity might soon be closing and I’d hate for that to happen without at least checking back in with them to see if anything had opened up. His response was to the effect that he understood where I was coming from, but regrettably they were still not yet in a position to add to the staff. It was a bummer, but at least I tried. That was on a Thursday.

The following Monday I get an unexpected email from him asking if I could come in to meet with the Creative Director (the guy who I would report to if hired as a designer). Now things are getting interesting! This is EXACTLY the kind of fire I was trying to light under their butts. Of course I’d be happy to come in and meet with him. So I did, and guess what… we got along famously! The CD and I probably chatted for about an hour and a half and it was pretty obvious to both of us that I was definitely a good fit for the company and he and I would have no trouble working together. Great!

Then nothing. And more nothing. Finally I got a response to my “Thank you” emails and it was warm and friendly with just the slightest of hints that the wheels might just be turning over there. Now I’m really excited. Certainly they didn’t have me come in and meet yet again just to put me back on the back burner. No way…

Yes way.

Now I’m basically back to where I was at the beginning of January. No job. Not a lot of freelance work coming in and not many full-time prospects out there.

I think the absolute worst part of all this has to be to get so close to reaching the end zone only to get put right back at your own 20 yard line. It’s getting very hard to even get enthusiastic about new “opportunities” when they come along. Why should I? Every time I do start getting excited about something that seems to be a good fit, that’s when it all just evaporates into nothing.

This is easily the worst time in my life I’ve ever known. Ever. I just truly hope it gets better soon. I can’t help but think that something has to go my way here before too long.