Lets Backtrack - Part II

"Previously on Regular Mental Breakdowns: Dan travels to Las Vegas for a trade show where the contacts are good, but the drinks with a gang of foreigners are even better. Too many pints of 'Irish Medicine' and the next morning our hero has missed his flight back home. Will Dan be able to get back to the midwest, or will he be left stranded in Sin City?...."


"On to plan 'B'" is my only course of action on a groggy Friday morning after realizing that only 15 minutes remain for me to get dressed, packed, checkout out the hotel, taken to the airport, checked in, passed through security, and at the gate in time for me to make my flight back home from Las Vegas. The only trouble, was I had no "Plan B". The only thing I can do is get my carcass to the airport and hope like crazy that an alternate flight can be made.

Twenty minutes later I am showered, dressed, packed and stepping into a cab. Ten minutes after that I walk into the airport terminal - now comes the moment of truth. I call Cindy back at the office (she is the one who originally made my flight arrangements). I sheepishly fill her in on the fact that my flight is now thirty thousand feet in the air... without me. I ask if she can help track down another option. Ten minutes go by before she calls back to tell me taht the only flight to Des Moines for the day was the one I just missed. Drat! So up to the counter I go to see if I can't charm the ticket agent into helping me figure something else out.

Now, I don't know much about Thelma. I don't know where she grew up. I don't know if she has a family. I don't even know her last name. In fact, all I can really guess about her is that she is roughly 45 years old, african-american, stands about 5'7" and seems to take great pride in the good maintanence and grooming of her long fingernails. However one single fact about Thelma is certain; and that is that Thelma is working the ticketing counter of Allegiant Airlines on this day and because of that, she is about to become either my best friend or my nemesis.

As I approach the counter I lock eyes with Thelma and my lips crack into a wide smile as I get the old charm machine fired up. I explain my situation using a variety of maneuvers such as the boyish smile, the nervous eyebrow raise, a vulnerable laugh, and a calm and deep tone of voice. Years of experience have shown me that these tiny little nuances are in fact the deadliest weapons in my arsenal. But in this chess match, Thelma doesn't give anything away. Is she going to take pity on me? Is she going secretly delight in how screwed I am? Is she going to openly delight in how screwed I am? Then she looks at me, smiles, and says "You poor thing, lets see what we can find to get you home". Once again, the cunning predator has snared his prey.

After searching through the computer she finds one option: a flight to Kansas City with a stop in Phoenix. It's a long shot, but at this point I figure if I can at least get to KC, hopefully I can con somebody to driving me to Des Moines. "Lets go for it" I say. And with that she starts typing it up. However there is a problem. That flight to Phoenix leaves in only 25 minutes, she isn't sure she can get the ticket booked in time.

At this point, I know that Thelma is not only the ticketing agent at Allegiant Airlines, but that she is also now in my corner. What I didn't know, what I couldn't possibly know at that point, was that she was actually an angel, sent from above to find teh lost sheep and return him to the safety of the flock.

She commenced to flying across her keyboard, those fingernails darting down and striking with lethal, lightning precision at the keys. Thelma was a virtuoso, nothing short of Mozart working his craft. Then, "VICTORY"! She got it punched in just in time. We both shared in our success with a hi-five and I was on my way.

Running, frantically through McCarran, I flew through security, hopped the train and arrived at the gate just in time. I boarded, found my seat, and knew I could relax. The hard part was over.

Or so I thought...

... To be continued...